°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸ officially missing you °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

It's been 4 years or so since I stopped blogging, and the reason why I'm starting again because nobody visits this anymore and I can be as angst-y as I want without caring about how people are looking at me. This is something I can't do on Facebook. I don't want anyone to "like" my complaining statuses, or to comment and say, "How are you? WHY WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE?".

Recently, things happened. It's been 4 days after my birthday and been wanting to complain about it to nobody. Or rather, I just want to vent! For this year and the past 1 year, things been happening on my birthday. These THINGS happen because of this humongous crush I had for the past 2 years and 8 months (if I can detail the number of months I had this crush, it totally huge). I confessed before, but he rejected me, but I was still unable to give up. However, ever since last year, I wanted to give up and stop giving my attention to this guy (code name: J) as something happened. He almost hooked up with one of our mutual girl friend (code name: T) , and T was just plain crazy. As J and I had a bunch of mutual friends/clique, we hung out a lot. He was even my housemate! So it happened that approximately 2 weeks before my birthday, we went clubbing, and things happened. T got drunk and pretty much just pounced on J. After that night, things got awkward but to divert my unhappiness, I did tell some of my friends and tried to laugh it off. In the end, the supposedly gossip went back to T, and she confronted me, saying that I spread rumours or untruths about them (and nope, I didn't). So we had a huge quarrel on messages and she ended with "f*** you". Totally mature right? Anyway, T forced J to hang out with her during MY birthday by threatening suicide if J did not hang out with her. As I said earlier... crazy bit*h. Therefore, J did, and assured me that he didn't want to. End of story, because in the end, they didn't get together and I was secretly relieved.

Time passed, and I slowly gave up, and we stopped being housemates. We still hung out, and of course, I can't let it go completely. Then it happened again.

This year, somehow it happened again. This time J hooked up with another girl (code name: K), also while clubbing. Long story, but similar events happened. However, this time round they did hook up and they "announced" their relationship on the day of my birthday. I even celebrated the end of my birthday with K. This time round, I felt like I got slapped. What's the best way of telling a girl that you are totally not interested in her? Tell her you got a girlfriend on her birthday. FINE! I'm gonna let go. Or die trying.

And I know, he's just not into me. And so I say, "F**K YOU!"

Now, let me leave off with a long overdue music video.

P.S.: Now you know why I can't post this on FB yeah? too many mutual friends.

Monday, April 26, 2010

yay #200th post!! but i'm not gonna talk much here lol.

but lets talk about life today. life is actually all about choices. everything you do, everything you learn and speak affects your choices. and of course, no one else have any right to tell you what is right or what is wrong. be true to yourself and life will flow straight. don't lie to anyone, especially yourself. act and live like how you want it, and if people disagree with you, don't feel down. it is your life, your life, your life and your life. if you think it's right, then it's right. there are no wrongs if you believe that your choice is the correct one. of course, people regret their actions all the time, but regret is good. it trains you the next time when the same choice comes up. to say yes or no. what will you do? what will this thing affect me? will it turn out the same way again? lots of questions will occur to you, but what can you do except to believe in yourself? and to believe is to live.

profound huh? but its my way of life. if you hate this kind of talk, get out of here.

memorable 200th post for me!

when i dont feel good, or unhappy, this the right emo song for me!

Down in a local bar
Out on the boulevard
The sound of an old guitar
Is saving you from sinking
It's a long way down
It's a long way

Back like you never broke
You tell a dirty joke
He touches your leg and thinks he's getting close
For now you let him just this once
Just for now
And just like that - it's over

[Chorus:]
Don't turn away
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't be afraid
Keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard for the belle of the boulevard

In all your silver rings
And all your silken things
That song you softly sing - is keeping you from breaking
It's a long way down
It's a long way
Back here you never loved
You've shaked the shivers off
You take a drink to get your courage up
Can you believe it
Just this once
Just for now
And just like that
It's over

[Chorus]

Please hold on - it's alright
Please hold on - it's alright
Please hold on

Down in a local bar
Out on the boulevard
The sound of an old guitar
Is saving you

[Chorus x2]

Sunday, April 25, 2010

nearly 2 months ago, someone told me this phrase:"do your part as a sister, as a daughter, and that is sufficient". now i realise, it is correct, and i am now following this golden phrase. help if i can, but if it is not appreciated, dont feel too bad. just be myself, and unless they ask for help again, dont offer again.

also, my auntie told me:" dont make promises that you can't do". i mean, everyone shld know that, but after i heard it, i feel it even more. i did try to do the promises if i promised, but sometimes i hide from it, or escape from it. and then i'll give an example. my fren asked me whether i was free the next day, and i told him yes. he told me that he wanted me to go for his cellgroup event. and i said ok. so i did go, although i hate myself for going but i'm proud of myself for fulfilling my promises. i hate that i go attend the cellgroup cos their religion is something that i don't believe in. i think that my attendence is disrespectful to the religion, cos i dont believe in the religion, and yet i go there to play. i hate myself. and yet the people there told me that its alright and its not disrespectful. i dont understand. my feelings told me that it is damn disrespectful, and i am damn shameless. haiz.

Timbaland Feat. Katy Perry - If We Ever Meet Again

What's somebody like you, doin in a place like this?
Say, did you come alone, or did you bring all your friends?
Say, what's your name, what you drinking
I think I know what you're thinking
Baby what's your sign, tell me yours I'll tell you mine
Say, what's somebody like you doing in a place like this?
(1, 2, 3, 4)

CHORUS:
I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away - said if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so
Kiss me all night don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same
If we ever meet again

Say if we ever meet again

Do you come here much? I swear I've seen your face before (before, yeah)
Hope you don't see me blush, but I can't help but want you more, more
Baby tell me what's your story
I ain't shy, don't you worry
I'm flirtin with my eyes, wanna leave with you tonight
So do you come here much, I gotta see your face some more, some more

Cuz baby

CHORUS:
I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away - said if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so
Kiss me all night don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same
If we ever meet again

If we ever meet again
I'll have so much more to say (if we ever meet again)

If we ever meet again
I won't let you go away (said if we ever meet again)

If we ever ever meet again
I'll have so much more to say (say if we ever meet again)

If we ever ever meet again
I won't let you go away

CHORUS:
I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away - said if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so
Kiss me all night don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same
If we ever meet again

I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away - said if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so
Kiss me all night, don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same
If we ever meet again

Saturday, April 24, 2010

u know what? i actually will have a lot of stuff to blog about, and I'll think like this:" oh, i should blog about this thing huh..." and then, i don't. 1 reason being i don't switch on my laptop often now.. probably twice per week, and the other reason being that i don't rmb what i wanna blog about. i think the last two posts were done when i was in the office...? haha anyway this is blog post #197.. and these posts are spanning between nearly 3 years and 5 months? how does time pass so fast anyway? there was this time i read my post #1, and it seems like almost yesterday. i can still totally remember the feelings i had.

oh ya. being so close to my bday alrd, and i alrd know celebrations with the ninjas will be on 2nd May (going to watch IPman 2), also, it is yingli's bday! i wonder when will Yingli and I celebrate our bday with our sec sch gang??
lol, see how la. now got this thread on facebook, which includes Shujun, Yingli, Xueming, Weibin and of course, the great me. we're talking about when to celebrate. i cant wait. lol. and yes! i wont have to work on my bday, cos it is a public hols for the whole company!! except for the shift workers. labour day is on saturday, and therefore they decided to give a gazetted public hol on monday! hahaha how exciting is that?

talking about the company, my dept is very nice to me. everyone there is nice and therefore i wish that they will ask me into the company if possible. of cos, i must be really hardworking now, and i hope the rewards will come thru. if not, i might go overseas to study. but i havent discuss it with my dad. maybe the standard Aust or NZ. haha. see how?

firstly i should introduce my dept interns, cos i might talk about them in this post. haha. i got Betty, a NUS intern, Zhixuan, a "going to NUS aft NS" guy, i got Hong Zhang, my ngee ann "the other intern", and from the Inspection dept, Liu Huan, a PRC NUS intern. they are really nice, and all are older than me. haha. so when i say i feel very old, they will scold me. lol. i am more close with ZX (i feel la) cos he taught me a lot.. and we like to bicker like old ladies! haha.
they like to say that i like someone from the insp dept.. but I DONT! ok?!?! i noticed that guy cos i thought that he look familiar!! and its quite funny. when i was trying to add betty and zx in facebook, i couldnt find them. then when i searched for this guy's name, he is the first one i can find! and of cos, i dont really know him, cos we only got one mutual fren, and that mutual fren is the one who worked at shell as intern a few semester ago! but they accused me of liking him. ergh. i want to trottle them. haha! and now i'm trying to push the gossips to Betty. so mean of me right?? there is someone from project dept who will drive her out of jurong island (not that he's going out to eat or what, just no reason at all!!!), and someone from rotary will talk to her often! and therefore now i'm trying to make her the focus point of this gossips... and of course, its not WORKING! what can i say? engineers are stubborn people. haiz.. and they like to HARP on the subject!

very busy recently, and therefore out of the loop on a lot of stuff.. anyway i think i'll be going taiwan in august, aft my attachment. maybe for 4 or 5 days. depends la. haha. 5 days will be adequate cos i'll only be going ard taipei. gonna see if shujun or liying will wanna go with me. haha. if not, i might go alone! i seriously dont mind =)

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

i was so happy when i finished my huge bomb. in fact, not as much work to do as expected. but now i'm quite bored, with nothing on my hand. the facility siting was finished ytd. all in all, quite happy

but now with my eyelids threatening to glue tgt... ergh...

Friday, March 26, 2010

(Sean)
Eenie meenie miney mo
Catch a bad chick by her toe
If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go

She's indecisive
She can't decide
She keeps on lookin
From left to right

Girl, cmon get closer
Look in my eyes
Searchin is so wrong
I'm Mr Right

You seem like the type
To love em and leave em
And disappear right after this song
So give me the night
To show you, hold you
Don't leave me out here dancin alone

You can't make up your mind, mind, mind, mind, mind
Please don't waste my time, time, time, time, time
I'm not tryin to rewind, wind, wind, wind, wind
I wish our hearts could come together as one

Cause shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova

(Justin)
Let me show you what you're missin
Paradise
With me you're winning girl
You don't have to roll the dice
Tell me what you're really here for
Them other guys?
I can see right through ya

You seem like the type
To love em and leave em
And disappear right after the song
So give me the night
To show you, hold you
Don't leave me out here dancin alone

Can't make up your mind, mind, mind, mind, mind
Please don't waste my time, time, time, time, time
Not tryin to rewind, wind, wind, wind, wind
I wish our hearts could come together as one

Cause shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova

(Sean)
Eenie meenie miney moe
Catch a bad chick by her toe
If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go
Eenie meenie miney moe
Catch a bad chick by her toe
If she holla (la la la la) let, let her

Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova (yeah yeah yeahhhhh)
Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova (oohhhhhh) (let's go! )
Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova (here we go! )

(Justin & Sean)
Can't make up your mind, mind, mind, mind, mind
Please don't waste my time, time, time, time, time
I'm not tryin to rewind, wind, wind, wind, wind
I wish our hearts could come together as one

Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova
Oohhhh

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Haha actually now i'm in the office now. not very long ago i finished my daily stuff that i must do, so now slacking. actually i still got a proj to do, but its near to lunch time alrd, so a bit bored. aft lunch then i'll do. =)

bought a lot of dvds and vcds recently.

Koizora (lian kong) jap dvd
Sayonara Kuro~ jap dvd
GuGu the cat jap dvd
Kimi Ga Kureta jap dvd
Hai Pai Tian Xin taiwanese dvd
Pocahontas eng vcd
The little mermaid 3: The beginning eng dvd

isnt that a lot? i finished pocahontas, little mermaid, koizora alrd! hahaha

Friday, March 05, 2010

i'll be going tioman today! haha only to come back on sunday, then prepare for attachment.

this is probably the last getaway in 6 mths, so i will try to enjoy it!

havent been diving for like... 1 yr plus. last 1 was probably the valentines' day trip 2009 in pulau hantu.. if u say the last overseas diving trip.. it will be the july trip in 2008 whereby i went to get my rescue diver? haha. super long ago.

feeling nostalgic.. 1 yr older, feeling so much more mature. haha a while more, then i'll go out into the "adult world", meaning the working world. haha. i think 1 yr later then i will think of the current me now. the 2010 me. =D

Thursday, March 04, 2010

btw, i'm going tioman on fri to sun. i resolute to spam. but wonder if can a not. going to bring 4 films there! lol intending to really spam. =D

Thursday, February 25, 2010

my blog i think got error leh... lol. the "infos" thingy shifted to the centre and blocked part of my blog post and pics! omgs.

btw, with respect to my blog post about my attachment choices.. i got into...

SHELL EASTERN PETROLEUM! haha